As mentioned before, I finished my exams on the 30th. This was a very good thing as the torture was kept mercifully short. I was very very very happy when the exams ended. Now this might seem too-obvious-a-feeling-that-it-does-not-even-warranty-a-mention-because-it-is-implied but usually this does not happen to me. I just realized that the above sentence can be typed without hyphens and still it would make sense, but hey, I'm trying to be literary and cool.
Usually, immediately after exams, I feel an extreme low because I don't know what to do since for the past month my life has been revolving around studies, coffee and quick masturbatory breaks. However this time, I just felt absolute joy! This joy was welcomed by my friends with sighs of relief and lots of ''finally!!'' and "oh your normal, great!!''. But to me, I felt (in addition to the joy) that I've just become a different person. This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing but think about it. I'm in university because I'm a good worker. Distracted yes, but nevertheless, a conscientious one. And this comes along-by this I don't really know what it is- and I'm all over the place and I don't really care.
I suppose the fact that I'm caring now is still indication that I'm still the same person but how about then? How about the numerous times during the semester in which I just gave up on research even before the system logged me on to the pathetically slow NUS Libraries? How about when I decided that providing a ''sick'' excuse to skip meeting was a wonderful idea? How about the slow deterioration of concentration on one single topic? How about the humongous reduction of efficiency when doing a particularly long reading for South Asian studies? (2004= 50-75 pages a day. 2005= N.A (no i'm kidding) 10-15 pages a day?) And the kicker, and yet strangely most justified, having a lustful night (and morning) and going for the test AND presentation grossly unprepared only after 1 hour after doing our business?????? Woo hoo!?
There is always next semester!!! I am looking forward to my last semester at NUS. I feel sad too, but soon we shall be finding jobs and earning our OWN living. The thought exhilarates! Previously, I always thought that hooking up with someone rich or being dependent on someone wouldn't be much of a problem but these past few months have taught me just how the world works. Call me naïve, but I say that realization is better late than never. These past few months has seen me spending money left, right and centre. Contrary to popular belief, most of this money has not been spent on alcohol and clubbing. In fact, they have been spent on, numerous dinners, numerous cab rides, stratospheric phone bills and not keeping track of what people owe me.
This has led me to borrow money. I hate borrowing money. It is sometimes necessary but all it does to me is provide me uneasy short term relief after which, it is replaced by the dead weight of debt. All this has taught me a few things. Money is an issue that you take for granted. People come to you in times of help but when it comes to the situation where you can't help but ask for a reciprocation, it suddenly gets stuck in a gump full of excuses. There are some people who have come through and genuinely helped me and I am very thankful and I WILL pay back my debts when I come back. But from now on, and of course until i pay back my debts, I shall ECONOMIZE and splurge on really special things such as the occasional romantic date, a new mobile phone and maybe, just maybe, an iPod? And of course some nice gifts to mom, sister and a few select friends (and lovers).
Anyway, like I was saying, before this gross, yet appropriate, diversion. I felt extremely low after exams. After getting over a fricking hangover on Sunday, Monday was fucking boring. Did not do anything!!!!!!! L.O.S.E.R ( u know who u are who said that). Loserville, population M.E.. sigh.. Well it just got me thinking, as I was walking around my hall and contemplating the vagaries of NUS campus-life... Where the fuck is the ''vibrant campus life'' they talk about in their prospectus????? IT IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. There are the occasional exciting moments when you see drunk people running (and sleeping) about on the pavements, the occasional cultural night which is oh-so-moderately-enjoyable and there are those memorable moments of fun bonding you have with your friends... Apart from those ''memorable moments'' everything else is so structured and so planned that when it comes to the day of the actual event, i.e. cultural night/movie screening/dance ensemble etc, the fact that we SHOULD attend because if we don't we will miss out on SOOO much fun, just negates all the fun in going and planning etc etc etc blah. So the bottomline at NUS is that if we want to have fun we should plan for it, fit it into our schedules weeks in advance so as to prepare oneself for a brilliant slice of collective campus life. There is absolutely NO FUN in having something fun to do at our disposal, like maybe a bar or a club or even a 24 hour hip eatery on campus. I mean God forbid provide students with something fun to do ON campus...!
Usually, immediately after exams, I feel an extreme low because I don't know what to do since for the past month my life has been revolving around studies, coffee and quick masturbatory breaks. However this time, I just felt absolute joy! This joy was welcomed by my friends with sighs of relief and lots of ''finally!!'' and "oh your normal, great!!''. But to me, I felt (in addition to the joy) that I've just become a different person. This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing but think about it. I'm in university because I'm a good worker. Distracted yes, but nevertheless, a conscientious one. And this comes along-by this I don't really know what it is- and I'm all over the place and I don't really care.
I suppose the fact that I'm caring now is still indication that I'm still the same person but how about then? How about the numerous times during the semester in which I just gave up on research even before the system logged me on to the pathetically slow NUS Libraries? How about when I decided that providing a ''sick'' excuse to skip meeting was a wonderful idea? How about the slow deterioration of concentration on one single topic? How about the humongous reduction of efficiency when doing a particularly long reading for South Asian studies? (2004= 50-75 pages a day. 2005= N.A (no i'm kidding) 10-15 pages a day?) And the kicker, and yet strangely most justified, having a lustful night (and morning) and going for the test AND presentation grossly unprepared only after 1 hour after doing our business?????? Woo hoo!?
There is always next semester!!! I am looking forward to my last semester at NUS. I feel sad too, but soon we shall be finding jobs and earning our OWN living. The thought exhilarates! Previously, I always thought that hooking up with someone rich or being dependent on someone wouldn't be much of a problem but these past few months have taught me just how the world works. Call me naïve, but I say that realization is better late than never. These past few months has seen me spending money left, right and centre. Contrary to popular belief, most of this money has not been spent on alcohol and clubbing. In fact, they have been spent on, numerous dinners, numerous cab rides, stratospheric phone bills and not keeping track of what people owe me.
This has led me to borrow money. I hate borrowing money. It is sometimes necessary but all it does to me is provide me uneasy short term relief after which, it is replaced by the dead weight of debt. All this has taught me a few things. Money is an issue that you take for granted. People come to you in times of help but when it comes to the situation where you can't help but ask for a reciprocation, it suddenly gets stuck in a gump full of excuses. There are some people who have come through and genuinely helped me and I am very thankful and I WILL pay back my debts when I come back. But from now on, and of course until i pay back my debts, I shall ECONOMIZE and splurge on really special things such as the occasional romantic date, a new mobile phone and maybe, just maybe, an iPod? And of course some nice gifts to mom, sister and a few select friends (and lovers).
Anyway, like I was saying, before this gross, yet appropriate, diversion. I felt extremely low after exams. After getting over a fricking hangover on Sunday, Monday was fucking boring. Did not do anything!!!!!!! L.O.S.E.R ( u know who u are who said that). Loserville, population M.E.. sigh.. Well it just got me thinking, as I was walking around my hall and contemplating the vagaries of NUS campus-life... Where the fuck is the ''vibrant campus life'' they talk about in their prospectus????? IT IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. There are the occasional exciting moments when you see drunk people running (and sleeping) about on the pavements, the occasional cultural night which is oh-so-moderately-enjoyable and there are those memorable moments of fun bonding you have with your friends... Apart from those ''memorable moments'' everything else is so structured and so planned that when it comes to the day of the actual event, i.e. cultural night/movie screening/dance ensemble etc, the fact that we SHOULD attend because if we don't we will miss out on SOOO much fun, just negates all the fun in going and planning etc etc etc blah. So the bottomline at NUS is that if we want to have fun we should plan for it, fit it into our schedules weeks in advance so as to prepare oneself for a brilliant slice of collective campus life. There is absolutely NO FUN in having something fun to do at our disposal, like maybe a bar or a club or even a 24 hour hip eatery on campus. I mean God forbid provide students with something fun to do ON campus...!
My solutions, in broad strokes:
1. Reduce workload. Not only will this allow for a REAL learning experience but it will also allow students to get out a bit more and actually interact before they become socially inept monsters.
2. Relax Rules. So what if males and females sleep with each other? I mean, contrary to popular belief, they do actually sleep on the same bed without sexual intercourse ever happening. I mean even if it does, won't it actually open minds about S.E.X and educate a generation into believing that SEX is not a bad thing and release the repression that is slowly depopulating Singapore? Also, why not allow visitors anytime of the day? This is not boot camp! And to make matters worse, these ''rules'' are selectively enforced, so what does that say for the University's credibility?
3. Open up fun, fancy, hip places for students to hang at. Case in point, Warwick University, United Kingdom. Every day a theme party night. Lots of pubs and discos on campus. Also, they have many many, restaurants on campus. NUS is improving no doubt, but its going slow and since our stay here is of a short duration, there is no way I'm fighting for a future cause. I want to enjoy these solutions. I, I, I. Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch.
Anyhow, I'm dying to put up another blog. So this is over...
Song at the moment: Espen Lind- When Sussanah Cries
Gonna: Smoke my last cigarette now.
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