Monday, May 30, 2005

agatha wasn't lying.. and neither was star plus

Real life is every bit as treacherous and sinister as all those movies and television programs make it out to be. Why do I say this, considering that I am relatively untouched by scandal, treachery, and betrayal? I have actually been caught up in one or two ‘scandals’ that were blown way out of proportion but they never really paralleled the mother or all inventions, pun intended, the television. Anyway, my life is so not the point here.

There has been a murder in the Sindhi community. My mother is acquainted with the lady who died. Apparently, the victim’s sister in law had been poisoning her with god-knows-what (arsenic, perhaps?) for a long time. She had been losing weight and people had finally noticed that she was practically wasting away. On the day of the victim’s daughter’s birthday, the sister in law had forced the poor lady to drink a cup of coffee (or tea; details get mixed up) so that she could attend the daughter’s birthday. At the party, the lady had fainted and by the time the ambulance came she was dead. An autopsy was done and there strong traces of some unpronounceable poison in her blood.

Well, this is slightly complicated. Apparently, the sister in law was sleeping with the victim’s husband. Let me make this relationship clearer to you.

Victim married Husband1 whose brother is Husband 2 who is married to Killer.

So according to the sources, which are almost always undeniably correct, the victim had seen her husband and the sister in law in action and she had been got rid off before she had told Husband2.

Exciting right? I find there are major loopholes in this particular bit of speculation/distorted fact.

*Why the slow death process then? Maybe it was just the rumour of the slow death and whoever tried to kill her wanted to do it one shot.
*Why was the sister in law arrested and not the husband? Maybe she is at fault because she made the cup of coffee but surely, the husband might have been involved? I find it difficult to believe that the sister in law was doing this alone. It is possible however.
*Couldn’t she have killed herself? I mean, if the victim had just seen her husband getting it on with the sister in law, then suicide surely can’t be ruled out of the equation?
*Why the stupidity of killing her through poison? I mean Husband2 would definitely know NOW that his wife was a slut and his brother was a bastard right? Maybe the administration of the dose was overshot by way too much.

There is only one thing to be sure of at this point of time, a lady died of an overdose of poison. It sounds so stupid when you say overdose because, why would you take poison recreationally? I mean even if it is 1millilitre or less, isn’t that an overdose to? Whatever, I must stop now because I am very aware of how bimbotic I sound. Aww shucks.

My mother told me this story with the requisite amounts of sympathy for the victim and the family (the non-killers at least) but she didn’t really emote fright or shock or anything what I felt. I asked her why.

Mum: Oh these things are so common.
Me: WHAT? On Star Plus maybe!
Mum: Please, where do you think Ekta (??!!) gets her ideas from? REAL LIFE! Don’t be dumb, open your eyes.
Me: Aiyo! What rubbish! Don’t talk lies
Mum: Don’t believe me!! How do you think Chandra died? Her aunt took her to the terrace and stabbed her
Me: omigod

I heard about this story. Chandra was this 14 year girl who got stabbed by her aunt because everyone thinks the aunt was mad or the girl had seen her doing something which she shouldn’t have been doing. Probably a man or three.

Can you believe it? We are in the Sindhi community and where I do realize this does not in any circumstance give us an exception over the rule, the rule being that crime exists everywhere, I did not expect at all for it to be so close to home. I do have a bit more respect for the now not-so-hysterical-and-overacted programs my mum watches every night.

I really am a prude to be shocked at what should be a very mundane and everyday thing. Disgrace befalls me.

I’m wondering if I can bring up this argument to fight an arranged marriage proposal that might come my way. I’ll be like, ‘ma, please, don’t want. Look at what happened to victim and killer sister in law!!’ I’d rather not you know considering that the killer-sister in law marriage might be one of the few Sindhi marriages that were NOT arranged. Then I would really be screwed but why am I even talking about arranged marriage? I’ve got bigger problems than that!!

But anyway, I hope by next week I won’t be talking about murders at the vicarage and little Belgian men walking about my street.

1 comment:

kuriakonz said...

maaan!! exciting stuff eh? so cool... poison and all...

tho i still think dipping your head into your own shit pot is the coolest way to die... soil to soil.. shit to shit!