As usual, the start of the year brings the beginning of the awards season for the movies. Sigh. I certainly love the movies. And equally as usually (!!?), I have my obsessive favorites for these awards. Never mind that the people who dole out the golden globes and oscars might actually be experts (almost) but sometimes, I swear, they just give out the awards for larger social reasons rather than the actual performance itself (Halle Berry much?).
Anyway, speaking about obsessive favorites, this year, Kate Winslet appeared back on the screen. Since I've been obsessed (must use thesaurus) with her since Titanic came out, I've been looking for excuses to hope she will get nominated for all the major awards. Well, as of last night, I know she has been nominated for one of my favorite films, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's a spectacularly original movie with a brilliant cast, which includes Jim Carrey in the lead role. Of the biggest upsets is him being left out in the Leading Actor category. It's an upset because Jim Carrey has ventured out into offbeat roles before and he has never been rewarded at the Oscars with a nomination atleast. So when he gets left out of the race for a role he plays with effortless beauty and conviction there is a reason to be pissed off at the credibility of the awards.
However, credible or not, an Oscar is the most prestigious award in Hollywood and to win it can be the key to many more glorious opportunities. Not that Kate Winslet needs these glorious opportunities (everybody knows she's a brilliant actress) but she's been nominated three times previously and never won, and at age 29, she's the youngest actress to have received four nominations, so come on, give her the award already. I seem to cede into my own criticisms against the Academy by saying this as it is the performance that should be rewarded, not, as I say in my ravings about Kate Winslet, about past snubs and amount of nominations received. However, I reinstate my position and say that she DOES deserve the Oscar this time around because she was lovely and absolutely delicious to watch on screen for this masterpiece of a movie.
I also am pretty damn amazed that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind did not receive a Best Picture nomination. I am so tired of my rambling now that I will just let out a sigh for this ginormous mistake and move on...
Two other movies that have been nominated and ones that I have watched recently are The Aviator and Finding Neverland.
The Aviator is a big-ass biopic about Howard Hughes. It's awesome in its scale and the actors in the movie play their characters with utmost conviction. Especially Leonardo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett. I was pretty amazed at Leo's acting but when you see him onscreen you will know that he is doing a magnificent job. Cate Blanchett is very very very good in this film and since I am getting bored of this post and talking about movies that have been on my subconscious for the past week I shall just say The Aviator is a must-see even if it is almost 3 hours long (hey! it's still shorter than Titanic!)
Finding Neverland... was absolutely enchanting. Although I was a bit underwhelmed by this film I still thought it was magnificent because it was just so nice.. and sad.. and so real. I hope Johnny Depp gives Leonardo DiCaprio a good fight at the Oscars for Best Actor. I really don't mind either of these two (underrated) actors winning the little golden man. Why cannot there be a tie?
Ok then... i shall end this totally pointless post now and hope, with fervent, ardous passion that she will win the Oscar... kate winslet that is..
My next post will be titled 'Downward Spiral'
Coming Soon!
Adios
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
mugged drunken boy
So my friends and I were walking randomly around just a few hours back. We were having quite a lot of fun. We hadn't resorted to having fun by downing drinks. Instead we were talking and just generally, living in the moment and all that jazz.
Enter lost, delirious and bloody ang-moh. Apparently, a gay bashing, or just an acid trip gone wrong. However, what mattered was that he was bleeding from a head wound, his nose a twisted fracture, his money and t-shirt gone. Amidst mumblings of attempted gay rape and empty threats to the people who did this to him the police came.
Exit ang-moh in an ambulance. We will probably never see him again. But I am glad we did'nt turn away from him and ignored him. I'm glad we were good Samiritan-esque to him. I'm so glad we didn't behave atrociously like the cashiers at the 24 hour supermarket. I also really hope the police catch the people who made him go through such a traumatic, physically threatening, humiliating experience. The world is not such a good place with people like them around. But what I wish for most is that I hope no one, my family, my friends and myself never have to go through something like that. Is that selfish?
Enter lost, delirious and bloody ang-moh. Apparently, a gay bashing, or just an acid trip gone wrong. However, what mattered was that he was bleeding from a head wound, his nose a twisted fracture, his money and t-shirt gone. Amidst mumblings of attempted gay rape and empty threats to the people who did this to him the police came.
Exit ang-moh in an ambulance. We will probably never see him again. But I am glad we did'nt turn away from him and ignored him. I'm glad we were good Samiritan-esque to him. I'm so glad we didn't behave atrociously like the cashiers at the 24 hour supermarket. I also really hope the police catch the people who made him go through such a traumatic, physically threatening, humiliating experience. The world is not such a good place with people like them around. But what I wish for most is that I hope no one, my family, my friends and myself never have to go through something like that. Is that selfish?
revelations
Last night I went on my perpetual, untiring but tried and tested routine: the business of clubbing. I walked into the club and spotted my friends through a haze of intoxicating smoke. It had the makings of a great night, me with a buzz that was already rolling (courtesy of 11.5% alcohol content beer, take note alcoholics. I said 11.5%! Yes Shangri-La exists!!!), close friends and promises of good music and alcohol (glinting beautifully in glamorous bottles).
Instead, I got bored. So, in these situations, what must one do? What is the most sensible thing to do? Yes, one must drag a friend away from there and go to a better club. So my friend and I went to China Black. R 'n' B music, loads and loads of eye candy and a free flow of beer, tequila, vodka, bacardi and bourbon: things were looking up.
So, after a couple of hours, my friend and I decided to sit down and take a breather, or as much of a breather you can take in a club with a fag in one hand and a drink in the other. So alcohol took its toll on me and my mind became pretty sluggish. My friend bends over then and whispers in my ear. To my utter horror I recoil completely. Disbelief rocks my drunken system, an ugly crack amidst a veneer of invincibility. I feel rockets of pain travel through my head, in synch with the pulsing music and suddenly I can't stop crying. The words that were whispered, such heavy, important and responsible words explain a lot to me and my crying is a release. A release of energy that is necessary as I reach out there to find something something has never been found before. A reason, some sort of sanity that would put my mind at ease, but it never comes.
Instead, I got bored. So, in these situations, what must one do? What is the most sensible thing to do? Yes, one must drag a friend away from there and go to a better club. So my friend and I went to China Black. R 'n' B music, loads and loads of eye candy and a free flow of beer, tequila, vodka, bacardi and bourbon: things were looking up.
So, after a couple of hours, my friend and I decided to sit down and take a breather, or as much of a breather you can take in a club with a fag in one hand and a drink in the other. So alcohol took its toll on me and my mind became pretty sluggish. My friend bends over then and whispers in my ear. To my utter horror I recoil completely. Disbelief rocks my drunken system, an ugly crack amidst a veneer of invincibility. I feel rockets of pain travel through my head, in synch with the pulsing music and suddenly I can't stop crying. The words that were whispered, such heavy, important and responsible words explain a lot to me and my crying is a release. A release of energy that is necessary as I reach out there to find something something has never been found before. A reason, some sort of sanity that would put my mind at ease, but it never comes.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
the joys of routine
I woke up this morning exhausted beyond belief. I'm sure it was just me being groggy (can blame 5 hour sleep) because after a fantastic shower and a yucky breakfast I was prepared for anything!
So I decide to check out the notes I need to print out before going for my 12pm Services Marketing class and I find out that my lecturer is sick and he has called off the class. Of course my first reaction was an overly loud whoop of delight. Who wouldn't be happy huh? However, after the first 5 glorious minutes, I felt a bit of a let down. Why you ask? Well, I was kinda waiting for class, not because it's particularly good, but because it was a sign that my life had finally settled into a routine. You see, my birthday was yesterday and since it was a Monday, I didn't do much (also coz all the fucking bacteria in the world were invading my throat). So therefore it terms of that date itself, it was a very sedate birthday. I was incredibly thankful.
It's been almost two months of getting up horrendously late, and burning absolutely useless midnight oil for inane things such as watching bad copies of, 'What Dreams May Come' and the incredible (!!) Jet Li in 'The One' and of course drinking my life into a permanent hangover.. (it's true, my headache is still going strong after a full 6 days). Well, so I was looking forward to the mundane-ness but my routine was not meant to be.
It was bought to a heart wrenching halt as I promptly jumped into bed and slept for the next couple of hours. Yay
So I decide to check out the notes I need to print out before going for my 12pm Services Marketing class and I find out that my lecturer is sick and he has called off the class. Of course my first reaction was an overly loud whoop of delight. Who wouldn't be happy huh? However, after the first 5 glorious minutes, I felt a bit of a let down. Why you ask? Well, I was kinda waiting for class, not because it's particularly good, but because it was a sign that my life had finally settled into a routine. You see, my birthday was yesterday and since it was a Monday, I didn't do much (also coz all the fucking bacteria in the world were invading my throat). So therefore it terms of that date itself, it was a very sedate birthday. I was incredibly thankful.
It's been almost two months of getting up horrendously late, and burning absolutely useless midnight oil for inane things such as watching bad copies of, 'What Dreams May Come' and the incredible (!!) Jet Li in 'The One' and of course drinking my life into a permanent hangover.. (it's true, my headache is still going strong after a full 6 days). Well, so I was looking forward to the mundane-ness but my routine was not meant to be.
It was bought to a heart wrenching halt as I promptly jumped into bed and slept for the next couple of hours. Yay
eye of the hurricane
I met this girl two and a half years ago and I fell in love with her. It was a wild rush of platonic love that I totally understood, a fitting of the cliched and proverbial jigsaw puzzle. I related to her. She related to me. And we laughed like two pseudo-intellectuals on pot... It was nice..
And like any high.. it was shortlived. It was (is) a bittersweet clashing of the souls so to speak. Tempers raged, hearts shuddered, smiles disappeared. And everything went calm again. My paranoia receded. Friendship restored. Dynamic undamaged.
Then it started again. And again. My patience tested. Her patience, lack thereof, very vocal in it's color.
And now every time we meet and have a good time, I think and I hope that it isn't just a respite, it isn't the eye of the hurricane. But it always is.
I hope, I fervently wish, that we can be in love again. But it looks as if love has already taken it's toxic yet inevitable course into indifference.
And like any high.. it was shortlived. It was (is) a bittersweet clashing of the souls so to speak. Tempers raged, hearts shuddered, smiles disappeared. And everything went calm again. My paranoia receded. Friendship restored. Dynamic undamaged.
Then it started again. And again. My patience tested. Her patience, lack thereof, very vocal in it's color.
And now every time we meet and have a good time, I think and I hope that it isn't just a respite, it isn't the eye of the hurricane. But it always is.
I hope, I fervently wish, that we can be in love again. But it looks as if love has already taken it's toxic yet inevitable course into indifference.
Monday, January 17, 2005
coming of age
I turned 21 today. I can't believe it. I don't even know why I feel this sense of disbelief. I mean why is it such a big deal anyway?
Anyway, my friends were wonderful. It was so great to feel all the love. I know getting presents is not the only way love can be expressed but it certainly is one of the more unambigious ones... cheers! Anyway, I feel very good today. I'm not feeling elation (although everyone seems to think i'm in the throes of some damn sugar high) but I feel content. At peace. Finally. I guess it's going to be short lived, but how about I just live in the moment right now?
I'm not feeling it these days with the whole blog thing. I'm feeling choaked up. My ideas are not flowing freely. Incompetent. Inadequate. Yet strangely peaceful.
Anyway, my friends were wonderful. It was so great to feel all the love. I know getting presents is not the only way love can be expressed but it certainly is one of the more unambigious ones... cheers! Anyway, I feel very good today. I'm not feeling elation (although everyone seems to think i'm in the throes of some damn sugar high) but I feel content. At peace. Finally. I guess it's going to be short lived, but how about I just live in the moment right now?
I'm not feeling it these days with the whole blog thing. I'm feeling choaked up. My ideas are not flowing freely. Incompetent. Inadequate. Yet strangely peaceful.
Friday, January 14, 2005
alcohol and going off it..
ok.. so i'm really scared now.. there are a few select friends of mine.. most noticeably the person i was referring to in my previous post.. who are trying to quit drinking forEVER... oh god oh god oh god... if all these people stop drinking what will i do? will i have to quit too?
i would probably have to stop it.. as if i don't, then i am gonna feel pretty left behind and basically someone who has not had a spiritual epiphany.. well sigh... hope i dont feel that way..
why cannot people understand that drinking is a snapshot of what larger life looks like.. i mean.. consider Karma.. u do good things.. u get it right back... vice versa.. drinking is just like that... u enjoy urself... sooo much while drinking... and then u suffer the next morning...
oh wait.. thats exactly the opposite of what a karmic force is.... ahh well.. its fun alright...
i would probably have to stop it.. as if i don't, then i am gonna feel pretty left behind and basically someone who has not had a spiritual epiphany.. well sigh... hope i dont feel that way..
why cannot people understand that drinking is a snapshot of what larger life looks like.. i mean.. consider Karma.. u do good things.. u get it right back... vice versa.. drinking is just like that... u enjoy urself... sooo much while drinking... and then u suffer the next morning...
oh wait.. thats exactly the opposite of what a karmic force is.... ahh well.. its fun alright...
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
like the deserts miss the rain...
Day by day, year by year, semester by semester we go through the same motions of emotion.. i was just chatting to a good friend of mine, just not even 5 minutes back and we were just talking abt how we're turning 21 in a few days time.. and we're like, 'should it feel any different?'
You walk into Hallmark and you see all kinds of birthday cards... for different types of people..funny..sexy.. sentimental.. but u also see cards categorized into special ages... 1, 13, 16, 18 and the big old 21... it's that year where u are officially termed as an adult.. by officially i do not only restrict myself to legal limits... (woohoo)... i include.. being an adult in terms of now being able to take care of ur parents... be of marriageable age... start a job...etc etc.. but how different can we feel when we are just the same person as before? i mean.. turning 21... we've been heading towards this event for 365 days now.. so technically its not even one year older... we're just 1 day older, 1 hour older, 1 minute, 1 second.... time, memory and experience don't stop from one birthday to the next...
So really, we turn 21, in the eyes of our friends, parents, well wishers, lovers and ourselves.. but are we anymore secure and wiser than before? my perspective... im still a teenager..... i still suffer from paralyzing self-doubt... maybe i'm the stereotypical teenager/adolescent.. maybe i'm not... but i really think we need to address something that most people hate saying... and what my friend and i just discussed pretty honestly a few mins back.. we need another person to love... who will love us back... how much more wiser can u be, does it even matter whatever age u are turning if u have someone in ur life.. who loves u all-consumingly (in the words of Carrie)... if u have it... then ur more secure, wiser and mature.... and still we attribute it to being one year older... why is it never love? why do we all feel the need to be so cynical when it comes to that? why is there is so much judgement around us when someone talks abt their love for another person?
my feelings abt this are very incoherent... as is obviously reflected above... but..we are just so parched for this sort of love... for the sort of innocence that love brings (and sometimes takes away).. i need it pretty badly... hopeless romantic or not... we don't have to have ulterior motives... we do not have to be corrupt... why can't we just believe in the good ol'fashioned love story.. set in clubs of course.. or some hip modern house.. not, of course.. in the middle ages..
You walk into Hallmark and you see all kinds of birthday cards... for different types of people..funny..sexy.. sentimental.. but u also see cards categorized into special ages... 1, 13, 16, 18 and the big old 21... it's that year where u are officially termed as an adult.. by officially i do not only restrict myself to legal limits... (woohoo)... i include.. being an adult in terms of now being able to take care of ur parents... be of marriageable age... start a job...etc etc.. but how different can we feel when we are just the same person as before? i mean.. turning 21... we've been heading towards this event for 365 days now.. so technically its not even one year older... we're just 1 day older, 1 hour older, 1 minute, 1 second.... time, memory and experience don't stop from one birthday to the next...
So really, we turn 21, in the eyes of our friends, parents, well wishers, lovers and ourselves.. but are we anymore secure and wiser than before? my perspective... im still a teenager..... i still suffer from paralyzing self-doubt... maybe i'm the stereotypical teenager/adolescent.. maybe i'm not... but i really think we need to address something that most people hate saying... and what my friend and i just discussed pretty honestly a few mins back.. we need another person to love... who will love us back... how much more wiser can u be, does it even matter whatever age u are turning if u have someone in ur life.. who loves u all-consumingly (in the words of Carrie)... if u have it... then ur more secure, wiser and mature.... and still we attribute it to being one year older... why is it never love? why do we all feel the need to be so cynical when it comes to that? why is there is so much judgement around us when someone talks abt their love for another person?
my feelings abt this are very incoherent... as is obviously reflected above... but..we are just so parched for this sort of love... for the sort of innocence that love brings (and sometimes takes away).. i need it pretty badly... hopeless romantic or not... we don't have to have ulterior motives... we do not have to be corrupt... why can't we just believe in the good ol'fashioned love story.. set in clubs of course.. or some hip modern house.. not, of course.. in the middle ages..
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