A post I wrote when drunk ages ago (about 2 years). Only just discovered the draft. I have no idea what brought this on. I really am quite the drama queen.
Alliances forms, cliques materialize and then you feel completely left out. Then you engage in the same behaviour. Your lifestyle with them becomes a vicious cycle of furtive behaviours, non-existent eye contact, fake smiles and forced laughter.
The fuck up that is rationalization. The fuck up that is hypocrisy. The fuck up that are opinions not felt but manufactured. The fuck up that is condescension. The fuck up of half-measures. The fuck up of always asking someone to be honest. The fuck up that are excuses conveniently made to justify a friendship breakdown.
Unrequited love is agony they say, but only natural. Unrequited friendship, is inexcusable.
So why does anybody bother? Because sometimes it's worth saving and sometimes it's not. I think I have realized what's not.
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