The Politicization of the Sacred

Song: Old Habits Die Hard- OST Alfie
Ambience: Harsh lighting
Emotional State: Seeking silver lining
Physical State: Groggy. Horny? Hmm…one and the same thing? Hmmm

We all know relationships suck. What we don’t know is how much they suck when you are trying to pursue one in Colombo. First of all, that’s all there is. Relationships that is. Dating does NOT exist. If a guy asks a girl out, then that means both the girl and the guy have known for quite sometime that mutual feelings exist and that once the first date is set up, they become each other’s special (without hyphen)friends. It is just so typical of how it works in Colombo. I am sure that this exists elsewhere in the world but I am just trying to observe a few things about the society I live in.

Let me analyze further coz it makes me feel really clever. I make a couple of very damning statements in the above paragraph. Let us take them one by one.

“the girl and the guy have known for quite sometime that mutual feeling exist”

We have to make a primary assumption here. One party, let us say the boy, develops feelings first. Then he divulges this piece of information to his best friend. The boy and his best friend will brainstorm on strategies on how to get to know this girl better and FIND OUT whether this girl COULD POSSIBLY like them back. Harking back to Grade 8? Wait… there’s more.

So eventually the girl finds out and, let us assume, that she does feel kinda positive towards this guy. The girl will deign to drop hints about her true feelings, not on the boy itself, but very possibly some third party affiliated with the boy’s friend contingent.

Why does this brainstorming session happen? Is it because the guy is too cowardly to ask the girl out directly or is it some kind of skill the guy has developed over the years? We are all afraid of rejection because it makes us feel so small and inconsequential. It is quite natural to find out more about how the other side feels before unlocking your emotional floodgates. It just makes more sense because NO ONE likes to be rejected. Cowardice in this case can be quite excusable.

But still, not every boy can be a coward right? I mean the laws of probability tell us that this is something not quite possible right? Sure there are only a few boys who go up to a girl and ask their hand in courtship without considering the consequences but this is something very, very, very rare. So what is the other explanation?

I am afraid that the answer finds itself in the form of a Colombo girl. If a guy does by chance ask her out, she will reject him outright regardless of whether she likes him or not. It’s this mental block they have that if they do agree to go out with this guy, she is just too easy. She must abstain, she must be pure, she must have a white sheet the morning after. It’s the art of persuasion which they like but so often verges on the ugly because both guy and girl play games to such an extent to end in a state of confusion and hurt. What other choice does the guy have but to find out more, more, more?

“Dating does NOT exist”

The above rant, does somehow explain this statement. I mean after investing sooo many resources on finding out what the other side thinks who would want something casual? It’s as if the whole time they were sneaking looks at each other, playing games, finding out about his/her life, gossiping about him/her they were actually dating.

It’s fucked up as they come. The games these people play do not exclude them from the laws of relationships. I mean that although a whole load of energy gets spent on useless speculation and information gathering, it does not mean the relationship will be any more successful than one which develops out of a casual dating experience.

In fact, speaking from personal, vicarious experience, the relationship equivalent of no-man’s land plays havoc on any chance there is for a relationship to even develop, much less last for a decent amount of time. Boy and girl go back and forth and someone always gets hurt. Whatever happened to romantic dates, all-night conversations, all-day smses and that flush in the cheeks? Something tells me that it all exists, but in Colombo, other things such as ego, pride and mutual distrust come in the way. The situation’s changing slowly but mental blocks this prevalent are difficult to do away with.

Sad.