cranky symphony

Things... are getting way out of control.
I'm just plodding on with life. This time, no apologies, no thought, no regard for anything. I'm just not caring enough to put my care into action. Does this mean, I don't care at all?

Honestly, I don't think it matters. People have called me selfish all my life (that's like the previous 5 years or so) and ironically, the time it starts really affecting me, I see myself becoming the proof to their long standing accusation.

Is it because I've not been prioritizing? I really don't know and I don't have the energy to go into it because I'm too busy trying to weadle myself into a life I want to have and one that I'm finding extremely strenous and draining to do. The strain is spilling out into my life and fucking things up big time.

Oh but things haven't really changed all that much..

The inadequate guilt remains the same.