What is it about sadness that makes me feel like blogging again? I think it is only when I am sad that I feel that talking to my friends may not be good enough, may not make me feel any better. When I do pen things down, while I am typing, I feel infinitely worse, because the most pathetic self-pity will manifest itself but afterwards when I am finally uploading the damn post onto the damn blog, lightness takes over, and I think that is the lightness that will make me sleep at night.
So talking about self-pity, let me talk about the reasons for my sadness. One word: Rejection. I do not think I will ever be at a certain age or level of maturity to take rejection without it causing my mind to spin out of control. It gives rise to a spectrum of unbearable, self-loathing emotions that make me really really bad company to have around.
And to make it all the more sweeter, what if this rejection is accompanied by a declaration of love for another? What if this ‘another’ is one of your closest friends? What if there’s some history between yourself and this close friend? What do you do then? I believe calling this the mother lode of irony would not be too much of a stretch.
Love triangles happen all the time and I have seen my fair share of them but in this case, there is an undeniable link that exists, however, most pathetically, these links that form are reluctant, hesitant, stuck in a world where reciprocity does not exist. Perhaps it’s easier when reciprocity does not exist, because, then, jealousy becomes baseless with no one to blame, and rationality has an easier time kicking into place.
So talking about self-pity, let me talk about the reasons for my sadness. One word: Rejection. I do not think I will ever be at a certain age or level of maturity to take rejection without it causing my mind to spin out of control. It gives rise to a spectrum of unbearable, self-loathing emotions that make me really really bad company to have around.
And to make it all the more sweeter, what if this rejection is accompanied by a declaration of love for another? What if this ‘another’ is one of your closest friends? What if there’s some history between yourself and this close friend? What do you do then? I believe calling this the mother lode of irony would not be too much of a stretch.
Love triangles happen all the time and I have seen my fair share of them but in this case, there is an undeniable link that exists, however, most pathetically, these links that form are reluctant, hesitant, stuck in a world where reciprocity does not exist. Perhaps it’s easier when reciprocity does not exist, because, then, jealousy becomes baseless with no one to blame, and rationality has an easier time kicking into place.
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