gushing

Oh man. My last day at work is coming up this Friday. If I had thought about this day all the way back in the first week of work my face would have lit up like a damn Vesak pandol. However, now I don’t know what the hell to think! I know all this is possibly the usual idealization process one goes through when something comes to an end (a topic I have dealt with both implicitly and explicitly in previous posts) but I do feel intensely sad.

It’s the people I will miss. Definitely. It’s quite unbelievable that almost all the people in this firm are friendly and willing to really let their hair down (or hair up with some gel) and have a complete blast. Oh god. I think if there was ever a person to gush about Leo Burnett Solutions Sri Lanka it would be me. The brainwashing certainly worked!! If this is the effect firms like LB intend to have on their interns, then it completely worked on me. Right now, I feel like I am the biggest advocate for the firm.

It does seem appropriate to mention that I am not in the ideal position to actually comment on how good/bad LB is as a firm. It seems nice, but I’m only a lowly intern so how can I make a fully informed evaluation? Anyway, who said I needed to be objective to have an opinion? Yes, your right, NO ONE! I think it would be a lovely place to work or at the very least, hang with the people in the office!! There’s a quote in this book I was reading that says, advertising is the rock n’roll of the business world! I know I messed up the quote someway but u betta have got the point!

I think the reason why I feel an intense sadness is coz my need for affiliation is not being fulfilled. There’s a huge history behind the lives and relationships of the people working at LB and life’s just gonna continue as per normal after I leave, so where do I stand? Have I made an impact on ANYONE’S life? I feel as I have made good friends in the 2 months I’ve worked here but is it reciprocated? Does it matter? Do I have to know? I know ignorance is bliss but…but.. I mean should all this analysis even happen as long as I have enjoyed myself? A friend told me sometime back that I should stop trying to please everyone coz I am the only one who will end up hurt and disappointed but I am not trying to please EVERYONE. It’s just the people I care about that matter, i.e. my friends. Oh man, in other words, I just want to be loved. Yeah, yeah, I’ve said it again and to some extent I’m not ashamed to say it!

You see what a pointless argument this is? It’s downright annoying. I don’t want to feel like this. I want to be secure. I want to know that I have enhanced someone’s life in some little way. Maybe that’s egotistic (egoistic?) of me but flattery gets you everywhere don’t you think? Ha ha. Trivializing things helps. But if you trivialize things (things you have built up before) that others deem trivial anyway, does that redeem yourself in their eyes? This is all convoluted! My questions never have any sure-shot answers do you realize?

I end this post as confused as ever.